Its awkward. So I definitely dont think its fair to allege that Im not empathetic here Im reflecting on my own feelings as well as those Ive heard from others of both genders, or as you say, putting myself in their shoes.. Instead, in these situations, I've found something that works much better for both of you. Im sick of this and I dont have to take it! One reason why you hear more and more complaints from women in retail is precisely because they are empowered, not because, as you seem to be implying, that we are all a bunch of fragile, frigid, special snowflakes who want to criminalize all interactions between men and women.. NB They were both well into their 30s when they met. It was somewhat flattering with compliments but also uncomfortable if they couldnt accept my response. If youd like to try that, heres my number; otherwise, Im happy just to encounter you as an awesome barista/whatever.. I worked in a large grocery store chain that prides itself on premier customer service. Again, not altruism: it's in our interest; the path to "why not?" And in the body of the post This is what fantasies are made of; the pizza guy and the sexy woman. How are engines numbered on Starship and Super Heavy? interviewing with a service dog in my lap, boss thinks Im a stonerbecauseI called out on 4/20, and more, I desperately need breaks between my back-to-back meetings, I manage a gay employee and our company is homophobic, a coworker told me I talk too much, Im still ruminating over a job I didnt take, and more, should I invite my team to my home for dinner, will my company expect me to work with my ex, and more, after I hired someone, a mutual friend told me Id made a huge mistake. But I will also say I met one really great boyfriend while working. Why is this even an issue. This powerful weapon can be obtained through several means, and, To read the offense in Madden 21, look for the playmaker markers, pre-snap reads, and read/react opportunities. She could say yes, no, or not respond to the question. ", Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). That's borderline stalking. Some do. At my local supermarket, some of the cashiers take smoke breaks near the public the entrance of the supermarket. a silly or gross pickup line, or outright propositioning) and a simple asking out (e.g. I hated that aspect. This was in the rural South and I was a very, very closeted gay woman. This is exactly what I was coming here to post. Im a male, nearly 30, and I have been going back and forth for weeks about somehow asking out this cashier at a grocery store I frequent. Try it if you meet somewhere else. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. And I have a boyfriend doesnt even slow down most of these guys. It pays I dont want to miss out if she really is as special as Im feeling, but I also realize it might just be me feeling that. She called, and shortly after she was on my couch. Any approach must provide an easy exit for her so there'll be no uncomfortable conversations next time. I've never seen you before." I was looking for posts/comments I made and making sure I not did left some hanging, I agree dont do it. If the girl laughs, half the work is done. Sorry to hear that it didnt work out (a haunted house would have been a very cool first date!) Mutual friend. I would not go to a private residence alone if I hadnt hung out with someone before. Although again, sadly, he still might have a GF. Dont drop compliments and hit on her, asking how her day is doing is all you should do. By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. Sometimes the entire queue could stop and simply have a collective chat with the shopkeeper about some random thing, such as the weather, and such spontaneous conversations take place frequently. He seemed interested until I got a text from him later saying he couldnt make it. Some talking must have occured behind the scenes Much later, she told me she was married. Secretarial positions suck for this, too for what Im sure are the same reasons. I once had a crush on a guy who worked in retail. About a decade ago, I worked in a store that had mostly male customers. Asking me point-blank if Id like to go on a date with you is going to make me feel really uncomfortable. One was reeeally bad: the guy saw this woman at Target (they were both customers) and saw her in the parking lot and asked if she needed a ride because it didnt look like she was walking to her car. and our Im a public librarian, married to a patron. Please think very carefully about about out a retail employee. I would assume that say, a Chipotle employee would probably feel way less pressure/expectation as part of the job to be friendly in the face of gross hitting on, because their wages arent as reliant on the customers decision to tip/not tip. If you are really interested and you think this guy could be something really special then there is a gentle way to go about it. I agree with everything you said. Usually I prefer directness but this might get awkward if you go there often plus retail employees get hit on a lot. In most smaller towns and villages the cashier or shopkeeper gets to know the local community through their role as shopkeeper or cashier. What differentiates living as mere roommates from living in a marriage-like relationship? If the null hypothesis is never really true, is there a point to using a statistical test without a priori power analysis? Anyway, I begged her not to ask him out, at least not while I was there because I have been put in that situation at work before and I wanted no part of it, and especially not before we paid because I was worried he might think his tip depended on his answer. Seriously, how do you ask out a cute cashier (F) without being "that guy"? Its really helping me to figure out what to do (and Ive been debating this with myself for awhile now) and Im really grateful that so many people chose to respond. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. (gives performance flyer). We go out in public with strangers all the time after all. OP here, thanks for sharing your sweet, funny story. Unfortunately theres always the potential that someone could turn into a stalker. Webit takes some time and money to do this.. first come in the shop often (you probably had that part so you can skip that if you like) so she will notice you but yeah.. if she isn't looking at you because she has costumers to help, you still need to get her attention in some way.. you could humiliate yourself by tossing things on the floor or use a Here's where you'll go wrong, due to these butterflies, oh man -. Theres nothing wrong with letting someone know youre interested as long as it is no-pressure, you dont treat them differently afterward, and you are OK with being shot down. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. You should check it out sometime!". Dont drop compliments and hit on her, asking how her day is Granted, this could mean nothing, but its impossible for me to know whats going on since the only place that I ever see him is in this store. Since the OP is the customer, if read it correctly, the OP should ask the question. This is so uncomfortable to me. The best you can do is wait until you at least know her for a whole lot of time longer and write your phone number down, and the next time you finished your business with her you give it to her with a verbal 'I'd like to get to know you, if you want to, send me a message. 1) I was a girl and that was enough to get comments He told me that he had a girlfriend but they were on the rocks currently. You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. Thats sad. Thats why the OP should say it cheerfully, quietly, quickly, hand the card over and exit. She thought he was attractive and they got on well. I don't believe I do haha. - This subreddit is **gender neutral**. Enjoy your time together but make sure that you maintain boundaries; this will help create an enjoyable experience for both parties involved! In 2022, women earned an average of 82% of what men earned, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of median hourly earnings of both full- and part-time workers. I like the low pressure approach. And as others have mentioned, it's very easy to misinterpret her general customer service skill as "signals" of something else which she didn't intend. It was my first job ever, I worked part time for a store that primarily sold video games and video game accessories. She gets a free meal outta this deal so no girl in there right mind would turn you down unless you have come off as a creeper in the past, or she has a boyfriend. Have you had a conversation about anything that isn't related to their work? For instance whether she looks at you in the eyes while answering, if her answers are short, if she asks you something as well, etc. And if she doesn't come, well, you were planning to go there anyways so it's not a real loss on your part - you just spent an afternoon/evening doing something you already enjoy. concert). This is why her name is "girl" int this post. The world is as creepy as its always been, but women have been learning to push back against some of the crap that society heaps on them as a punishment for merely existing and being female. When I was a cashier, someone gave me their phone number. I also had people hang around the cash register after I had finished ringing them up try to continue to talk to me. Write your number on a piece of paper, have it ready when you go to the store. The "honey" and "dear' is a southern thing. And the safest answer is still Dont do it.. MMmmm Chipotle. Dont arrive at a house and find there are no other guests. very early in the morning, to find a moment in which the supermarket is emptier than the norm. That is a concern I had thought of. its funny (not funny ha ha). I would go so far as to say that if you, man, think an employee, woman, likes you, to think deeply about how good your judgement in this area typically is before you ask her out in said low-key, low-pressure way. Asking nicely doesnt erase that. Id like to find out what hes thinking, but its kind of awkward since since hes at work. Of course, if she tells you she has a policy against dating customers and you later see her dating another one, don't call her on it. Build a relationship first, as one answer notes. Disclaimer: I have never worked in retail, so Ive never had this experience. I used to work retail and used to get both hit on and asked out a lot. Follow through with your invitation dont just make an empty promise and then duck away! Now I tend to err on the side of it is their job to be nice and their job is shitty enough without you slipping them your number so short of them jumping in my lap I just let it go.
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